Orooj-e-Zafar is a spoken word poet/storyteller based in Islamabad, Pakistan. They have been widely published online and in print. Most recently, Orooj’s second poetry collection, heart the size of a loosening fist, was released through Vegetarian Alcoholic Press, they won the Pakistan National Poetry Slam 2018, spoke and performed at TEDxIslamabadSalon 2019. They have also conducted workshops with children and adults on trauma, mental health, spoken word poetry and storytelling in different institutions in their hometown while juggling their final year at medical school.
after La La Land-related sub-existential dread
No, but I spoke to him in a dream once; / he said it took one archangel to set the sky on fire everyday / and humans are mathematically appropriated to take that for granted. / I try not to take my lungs for granted. / I make sure I can count the breaths until my next / dance with too many pills until I can’t / walk the straight line all the way to hell / until the night jumps out of the window and everyone calls it weak / until the shattered glass makes the stars bleed themselves empty only / for someone to say the sun had it so much / worse. I am not a believer, but I swear I’ve seen God’s smile lines / often when I wake up in my own acid and stupor / I know he’s glad I failed because his perfection knows no second / of it. I know he listens because he mocks / the very life I fail to give up everyday. / when I say the all the women in me have gone to sleep / what I mean is don’t call me one anymore. Don’t / take my word for writing the sun yellow / someone will save the boys just like he saved / the first pitter patter in a new mosque / like he forgave the illness of being in so many of us / like he overlooked my stubbornness to create / because god is listening irrespective / of the fact that he never listens to me. / god will show you Sebastian’s existential part of “City of Stars;” / you can always / always hope / it’s shining just for you.