Sunday turns its corner so Ricardo & I talk our shit I tell him I wanted to be a father once but now I'm not so sure with the way the earth is burning & all It's irresponsible to have children I declare definitively, at twenty, Ricardo says Sure as if there was understanding already between us then the conversation continues we talk about rats songs and desire. Thought I wasn't going to write any more today but here I am returning from viewing on my phone an article published in the New York Times which reported that illegal gold mining has replaced cocaine for the most lucrative & abundant organized crime in Colombia the United States is the country that imports the most Colombian gold as well as cocaine as well as beef from Brazilian cattle farms which is related yes I promise yes in the entire world. I had hot apple cider for breakfast today! It is autumn! I say, though it is only late summer. Daniel, my favorite manager, quit. I am inconsolable. Some time later that day or maybe even at the same time an ICE agent fired several shots at a man who refused to show him his ID without a government-issued warrant everything was happening within the parameters of the law the truck he was in was white & fleeing. Saw two birds touching foreheads on a bridge today it was as if they were miming penguins the way penguins mime a heart. The college professor sits down at the front of the classroom & reads New York Times article headlines about climate change for an hour and fifteen minutes straight it's clear that despite his calm demeanor he is panicking I do not blame him I am panicking too it is a constant state even when brushing teeth or sometimes when I shower & think for too long. It's been so long since I've heard "ice" and thought of ice. Jane is doing shrooms today she sent me a picture of them in the shadow of a banana the caption was breakfast! Eighteen years since the planes hit it is Wednesday the wind feels like soft chrysalis it is a mostly good day I try on a new dress but don't like the way hair looks on my legs on the most viewed news station in America they say the final act of decency of several women jumping from the towers was their decision to close their legs so that nobody below would see up their skirt what does it mean to flee from a burning prison only to find yourself in another. I hope Ilhan Omar is doing okay. In the poetry workshop you tell me what is & isn't a sustainable writing practice you tell me don't smoke weed don't drink I nod in agreement because I am agreeing it's just hard sometimes Rachel I am trying not to let the darkness into my poems it's just hard sometimes or maybe all the time you say Learn to be uncomfortable see what works for you here are many different ways: [x] [x] [x] although I must say [x] is what has worked for me it is my favorite. I nod as if I am going to try. I nod. I nod. It is a blessing to find something I don't mind being complacent in but I am still unsure, Rachel, if it is a blessing to be alive.

Poets Resist is published by Glass Poetry Press.
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