Mack Rogers | On an early morning flight, I saw a shadow that reached into space

June 5, 2024

Mack Rogers

On an early morning flight, I saw a shadow that reached into space

I imagine a space station stationary.

I imagine a scissor half in orbit resembling the cover of Pig by sam sax.

I imagine a community thriving in the shade.

I imagine a road without streetlights or tolls.

I imagine us walking to Jupiter and farting.

I imagine my feet hurting already.

I imagine traveling with Zooey Deschanel in Tin Man.

I imagine walking to Ursa Major and getting lost in its fur.

I imagine the road leading to Baldur’s Gate.

I imagine finding Gale in the stars and finding love and finding home.

I imagine myself Ursa Minor and Columba and Cassiopeia and Orion and Ophiuchus.

I imagine a path chasing light, black and queer and abysmal.

I imagine blocking the sun, freezing or burning, whichever comes first.

I will leave a shadow, invariably small and gay.

I imagine myself a satellite.

I imagine an app to track my rotation.

I imagine being behind a paywall.

I imagine the same magic that took me to the stars bringing me home.

I imagine an airbnb in New Orleans.

I imagine a bbq shrimp po-boy.

I imagine two sousaphones, two tenor saxophones, two trumpets, one trombone, two snares, and one bass drum.

I imagine my family dancing in the street.

I imagine that might as well have been home.

I imagine a long line at security.

I imagine you trying to wake me at our gate.

I imagine you, tired of me imagining.

So I’ll stop.

I recognize that couple that just walked by from our flight in.

They pass for hetero but they must be queer.

Only queers wear masks, right?

They’re cute. And I want to be friends with them.

I put my mask on and I smile and we take off and I look out the window.

There is a shadow that begins somewhere back behind us and the window won’t let me see, but where it should stop, it doesn’t.

So why do I feel like I should?

Stop, that is.

I imagine the window dirty and in bed with me.

I imagine you anywhere in it.

I had a lot of fun with this poem and it quickly became one of my favorites. The poem boils down to a daydream on a flight back home (my second-ever). I was reading Pig by sam sax at the time, so I was feeling very queer while I looked out the window and saw this really long shadow. The image I held onto the most was that of a road of some sort that led into space, so I imagined walking it and all these stops along the path. Those stops mostly consisted of love, home, pop culture and, of course, some existential dread. And by the end, I was looking inward, at the reflection in the window of my partner and I.